Until I could get this dealt with, I had to keep a daily mental strategy.
I learned to chill and become content with giving audience to all that they did.
To keep from cracking, I had to find ways to cope. In this thing (with Janet), when it was love it was love. When it was war, it was war. Either way, for me-both were as real as this whole thing had to be survived (until)...
The room’s “Landlord” jokes and [real-life based] skits and dialogue began to die down when they saw that I was keeping calm (rather than setting it off in there like I’d usually do when they would carry on this way). It’s mental. It’s psychological. But I guess they got bored and decided to turn it up to a level that was sure to get a rise out of me by merely posting a name (in the form of a nickname) of one of the people that was listed in my computers phone book. It annoyed me because people who were listed in my computers phone book were people who I rarely talked to-if at all. It wasn’t just that they dropped the girl’s name down (Krystina), it was that they followed it by dropping down her daughter’s name: Karen, and then her sister’s name: Keisha which confirmed for me that they could tap phone’s from merely just having the number rather than it being necessary for that person to have called me, because not once had I ever talked to Krystina over the telephone throughout the entire year that I had been dealing with Janet. I only saw Krystina at school (because we had a class together). That’s it.
Janet and her buddies didn’t have much to say in the form of a monologue or skit, they just wanted to drop down a name that would jog my recollection. And by dropping down two other names behind it that were in close association to it, that was just their way of letting me know that they must’ve gotten bored and listened in on Krystina’s phone calls [for however long] in order for them to find out that she had a daughter named Karen and a sister named Keisha. When I saw that they spelled Krystina’s name with a K and correctly (as I had it typed/spelled in my phone book versus the regular spelling: “Christina”), I knew for sure that’s where they got Krystina’s name from-then headed for her phone. She was the only one of the few names listed as a “friend,” others were business or some other association. Had they mentioned Krystina’s name only, I probably would have continued to ignore them and not allow them to get a rise out of me.
Understand the fact that they were so methodical in that way (only to jog my recollection and to annoy me). It did annoy me because I hated that they could get away with this shit and because of, it could go on forever (and they knew that annoyed me too)—so as another method of their deliberate cruelty; they wanted to get specific (even without any ridicule, skits, or monologues) but to annoy me because they knew I hated that they were getting away with this shit. Get it? That’s the part I’m talking about that took skill and talent—(and total boredom in order to be that methodical). They deliberated different ways (like that) to flaunt what they could get away with, but in various ways to let me know that they were doing it for reasons or no reason at all (like this particular time-by pulling out “Krystina”).
When they could not take my ignoring them after the “Landlord” jokes, and then turned it up by tossing in practically any and everybody’s business they could while I continued to watch; they calmed down for a second-from behaving like a room full of monkeys then they pulled out the “Krystina” game only to communicate to me: “Yeah, we’ve been all up in your computer’s phone book and tapped her phone. And just to prove it to you, how would we know that she has a daughter named Karen and a sister named Keisha?”
As stupid as that sounds-that’s how they were. They pulled out all the stops in order to get it started and poppin’ enough for me to set off in there (to give them something to do-some excitement). It was a sick game-but a real “game” for them, but that is what they got paid to do for a living-from Janet. This was their [and Janet’s way] to get “life” away from a life that she could not have. This is how she lived life away from being seen by her public (at the expense of other unsuspecting people).
All that “Krystina” game detail was either one or two things to you:
Intricate in detail, or Over explaining.
If all that was merely “intricate detail” to you (and you understood it-how their “game” went), then chances are, depending on your strategy and coping technique, (like me)-you would have not only been on to them, but too, you would have survived their “game” and more importantly (like me) you really do trust yourself and trust your intuition more that the average person claims to. Chances are, all that happened at the very beginning of this book (January through March-detailing how I was lured into this game), would have intrigued you too, because you thoroughly understood how everything went-therefore (like me) this too, could have very well been you (if Janet wanted you for her personal reasons).
On the flip side, if all that “Krystina” game detail seemed like “over-detail” to you, then you would have been another sad case of “Sweetiepie” (who Janet did not want for her personal reasons), however, her buddies had a field day fucking her life over and making her think she was crazy by watching and listening to her chase her tail to the point where she resorted to trying to get legal advice for being harassed online.
Jennifer (from South Carolina) who, thank goodness I have a picture of in my files) was a girl that used to hang out in Janet’s chat room that Lissa (one of Janet’s buddies) used to harass all the time. Janet’s buddies and Lissa (behind random nicknames-not their “authorized” names) would toss Sweetiepie around and have her in tears in that damned chat room. She was their big fun and mental project who they drove crazy. I watched it, even before they re-routed me over to a different side of the chat room (because of Janet and me doing our thing), which is where myself, Janet and her buddies all did our thing eventually-away from her regular chat room fans and visitors.
I was never able to print Janet’s chat room’s scripts of our conversations in there, but interestingly (the day I found out that I couldn’t) that’s when I went to the HTML Source Code to try and view and print a script from that source. The script portion of the HTML Source Code was un-viewable (invisible), but the HTML Source Code (showing where I was rerouted from “oldchat” to “newchat” was indeed viewable), so I printed it... That’s how and when I knew I was re-routed from a regular Janet chat room to a private room, which was how Janet and her friends were able to be so brazen in ways that in the regular/normal chat room (with her fans), a lot of what we did and said would not have been possible at all.
Years later in this ordeal (2005) I decided all bets were off because Janet and her buddies thought they were going to keep toying around in my life without getting dealt with. While I was getting my case files together, I went dumpster diving onto various legal messages boards in search of people posting who may have had questions similar to mine that about what I was going through.
Sometimes on these boards, those questions get answered by the random paralegals and attorneys that frequent (the reputable) legal message boards. Low and behold, I hadn’t seen old Sweetiepie since Janet’s chat room back in ‘99/early 2000, and guess who I ran into—having posted on the message board? Olddddddd “Sweetiepie...”
“Oh how great thou art!” I yelled out to myself.
My lone hand was guided this entire ordeal man, I tell you.
These “Ghost”-like times (like that TRL/Carson/“Angela” incident that sent that jolt to Janet + Janet being forced to “overhear” Anaya talk about her via the same telephone line that she herself was tapping); kept showing up in my life. These things kept reminding me that although most everybody gossiped about me and fell by the wayside, I had an unseen ally in this-wanting me to just hold on and be patient because there was a bigger hand overseeing all that was being “overheard” while overseeing all the evil deeds that at one time, made me feel so powerless and alone in this. It was showing up and showing out in my life, proving to me that I didn’t need anybody afterall but me and it.
My running into Sweetiepie on a random legal message board was nothing short of a miracle. Her original post (for which I have screen prints) was on 10/4/2001. It read (verbatim): “hello. There are some people in a chat room that harass and threaten me, I have copies of many different things they said, they also have put up a negative website about me and used my pics without my permission the pics were taken at a meeting of chat room members the address to that negative website is http://bounce.to/beachhousexxxxxx click on the dedicated to sweetiepie page they also have called my house and hung up and prank calling my house I would like to know what my rights are and what I can do to make them stop if possible I would like to press charges against them is this possible email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what I can do thanks”
Sweetiepie’s nightmare with them was so sad, but what was even sadder was that she could never entertain the thought that Janet (too) was behind all this. Let me rephrase that, because I can’t truly say Janet was in on this thing Sweetiepie-but she sure as hell knew. These were her buddies, and this was their kind of fun. I didn’t want Sweetiepie clinging to me so tightly because she was too much of a Janet fanatic. What I needed from her was all web pages, emails, and anything she could send to me-so I could print everything and include it in my case files. I would get at her when time came, because she sure was essential to my fight. Her part of my growing chronology [that ended up being 965 pages] takes up about 65 of those pages. In some of her screen prints that I have, she even went so far as to do an online petition involving Janet’s chat room. They were so into having fun harassing Sweetiepie that (after Janet’s chat room closed) they moved over to another online group site (for which I printed screen prints of their terrorizing her there, too). I was floored. All this was so déjà vu, but even more creepy because I was still dealing with Janet and her buddies. I knew everything that was going on and could easily tell Sweetie who was behind what-doing and saying what (on her phone and online).
As I began to comb through and print Sweetiepie’s insulting web pages (in addition to my saving all the I.P address from which the pages were built), while viewing the web pages, I was shaking my head because I knew all too well-Janet and her buddies’ handy work. It brought back soooo many memories of how they would do all this for fun. They would build countless pages for the Internet (to promote Janet). Other times, they would build personal web pages to insult and crap on one another. And then some of the web pages would merely be personal pics of Jan (like earlier when I mentioned I had seen that femme-dom pic of Shawn and Janet where I said you could tell they fucked that day)—these were those same web pages her buddies would build, which too, is what they were doing to poor Sweetiepie: building hurtful pages about herself and her true to life living situation with rhetoric and pics that would surely jog her memory and recollection about seeing her own life in front of her very own eyes without a clue as to how this was all being done (outside of thinking it was by way of some fellow Janet chat room members who had it in for her).
Poor thing, she didn’t have a clue.
I also remembered how Janet and Shawn had began harassing another girl (who, thank goodness I still have the personal picture of she, Janet and Shawn)—she went by the name of “Wytasha” but, she was more than Jan’s fan who hung out in her room, she was a personal friend of Shawn’s.
Something (I never knew what) had gone bad between she and Shawn; so Janet, Shawn, and Janet’s buddies began terrorizing her (like they were harassing Sweetiepie too). You already know with Janet and me going through our issues, what it was like for me--so this all should give you a clearer picture of how things worked with them and what was most probably going on in Wytasha’s life too.
I had Wytasha’s email addy, and tried emailing her some time ago, but I guessed she stopped using that particular email address because it too, was the same email address that Janet, Shawn, and her buddies had access to as well. I definitely knew they had access to it when she gave it to me in the middle of the chat room. I can only imagine the hell that Janet, Shawn and her buddies were putting her through...
Long [Sweetiepie] story short (and “Sweetiepie” cliffhanger):
During this time that I was corresponding with her, on November 1st 2001, she set up a time and asked me to get on I.M with her so that she could patch me in to her private I.M where these “harassers” would bother her.
(Poor thing, she was a major Janet fan, her I.M handle was “PoeticJ19xxxxx”).
I was already in I.M with Janet (who of course could already see mine and “Sweetiepie’s” I.M conversation in our window, while she and I were already in our own window). Janet patched over and let her buddies know that she was online with me but that I was about to be patched through with Sweetiepie (but on a mute-watch) as Sweetiepie’s “counsel.” Already knowing what Sweetiepie hadn’t said yet (that she had her “lawyer” on the line); they laughed her ass to high hell on that I.M until she almost broke down in mind. It was so surreal; and such a terrible scene that it gave me the strangest case of vertigo-just to know that I was sitting here on the left side having small-talking with Janet already, while sitting on the right side in another I.M box with someone else who Janet and her buddies had too (like me-for years) been their “entertainment.” Here I was (me, a different kind of victim-who Janet happened to want) + another victim who Janet did not want (Sweetiepie) yet, we were being faced with both of our enemies: Janet and her team-who we both could not win against. She was out, I was in—and “loved” by Janet’s sick brand of love, and still…look what was happening to me...
I’ll never forget that night-ever. I didn’t know what to feel.
I was pretty shaken by that moment.
Sweetiepie was so helpful to me-all her information.
Considering her pursuit of this thing, it was obvious that she knew she was being stalked and harassed, but she wasn’t let in like I was (because of me and Janet), so she had no idea that the people doing this to her [was the person who she was a fan of] + her buddies. In one of the screen prints where Lissa was harassing the poor girl, [Lissa] mentioned two times that she did not feel sorry for Sweetiepie’s threats to kill herself. Well, I came back looking for Sweetiepie about a year and a half later (via all her email, I.M and other personal online contact information) she was nowhere to be found. I searched for her for almost a month to no avail. I seriously wondered if she made good on her threat because after my bumping into her on the legal website, in addition to what she readily gave me to get in touch with her; I did my own homework on her and she was easily found-everywhere. But in the year and a half (since this time), there were no traces of her through to this very date. I can believe [and would be willing to bet that] Sweetiepie probably killed herself, because I know the emotional stress, mental strain, and psychological torture that Janet and (as her own worried mother put it): “these people she was hanging out with lately” can put you through.
This game of theirs was like the “Saw” horror movies but it was psychological torture rather than physical death with no end in sight because who could you tell? So they had wiggle room, space, and opportunity at their disposal, these: “people that Janet had been hanging out with lately who Janet herself-on that July 16th night-came crying hysterically to me telling me that she was about to kill herself because the people that she ‘interacts with can take her down in one minute flat’ and she herself couldn’t take it anymore.”
(You do the math)…
I never told her, but in my heart-I kept secret promises for her. I promised myself that I would remember the night that her friend Halimah I talked her out of killing herself. I also kept in my head-the statement she made on that July 10th day [when she was talking in third person about somebody being in a cult but didn’t know what to do]. I kept another promise that when the smoke clears and the ink is dry, if she appeared to me having getting dropped off by a UFO, freezing cold with icicles hanging from her lashes and little green people beaming back up to Scottie; I would keep her in my good graces. But if she didn’t appear to me in that form, she was going to have hell to pay when this smoke did clear.
If you weren’t in-tune with their frequencies, and attentive detail, but more importantly, attentive their exclusive and specific details pulled from your own life (in order to play their evil little game); you would have lost the game and most probably your mind (from seeing what was right in front of you but being afraid to trust yourself and your own intuition)…but since what was being presented in front of you did not spell it out and tell you what was going on, you would have chosen to believe this was merely countless “coincidences” and “real-time coincidences” going on in your life and on your telephone that for the millionth time, your non self-trusting tail would have just kept tossing (all that presented in your face) to the winds of coincidence—all those personal details about your own life and what was happening in front of you—being just your imagination…(and they would have been giggling and laughing their asses off at you). Because (if you understood it), the “game” was their information gathered from people’s real life in which they spent a lot of time taking on these real lives as role play-to entertain themselves-like it was their very own personal hi-tech board game where there was no board, just: improvisation, skits, monologues, and dialogue amongst one another (or for, and in front of you): people and situations significant to your own life, while they watched and listened to you react (or not-because you didn’t trust yourself to believe what would be brazenly on display for you). And they would be pretty brazen with it, because it was no fun if you didn’t know or catch the clues. So they put it right out there-especially knowing that you could do nothing about it. It was pretty wicked.
Throughout this thing, Wytasha was somebody I always wondered about. She disappeared very early into this-never to be heard from again (in Janet’s room). I would love to know her story-because if she was personal to Shawn as I was to Janet, and she was going through issues with Shawn (as I do-with Janet); her story can’t be that much different than mine…but you had to have a mental strategy (especially after coming to terms with the fact that the shit going on right in front of you was no coincidence-but real). I never knew the extent to which Wytasha was close to Shawn-whether they were lovers or friends who had a falling out. Alls I knew is that they did. And of course I knew what Shawn, Janet, and her buddies were into doing. So I often wondered about Wytasha...
Her digerati (knowing they were unable to be caught, therefore untraceable) compounded by the fact that a major superstar too, was involved; totally made them all feel invincible and untouchable. Knowing that, surviving was a daily strategy of mine. While I was surviving, I became a combination of:
Chill-(to try and keep my cool, sanity, and peace. When I’d “chill” I would just watch them carry on)
Cooperate-(amongst one another, play the game too, as long as the role-playing involved harmless banter about the goings on and lives of myself, Janet, and themselves-not other innocent unknowing people. If that would come into play, I moved down to “fighting”).
Submit-(to Janet. It kept peace between us. Giving her what she wanted from the start and throughout, is something I hoped would be the thing to end to all this mess that I was going through with she and her buddies. When she would act like she had some sense-so would I. But when she would get emotional, jealous, paranoid or kirk out; it moved to “fighting”--which is how this coping mechanism often turned out).
Fight-(to stand my ground despite knowing my screams were like being buried thirty feet underground where no one cared to hear my cries yet, my words could break Janet down-that was my leg-up.
Those four “techniques” were my only coping mechanisms and each one felt like being in a gerbil in a cage. I felt like a rat in a maze-where not even one of those coping mechanisms seemed to work for any consistent length of time, so the end of the maze was never near—and this crazy situation going on in my life had no expiration date. Why would it? To convenience who? When they could completely get away with, were paid to do it, and a celebrity spearheaded it, why would they? Who so ever dared try and get it dealt with could not win-and they knew that.
It was torture-the worse kind of torture where no matter how much you screamed; nobody could or would take the time to hear you (and especially because of a celebrity’s name) no one believed you, and Janet took full advantage of that.
Believe it or not, every single one of those coping mechanisms were real-equally.
And for the majority of time all these years, when at any time Janet stopped the madness, I would submit to that, I would give in to trust the try (which you’ll see shortly, yet again, when she switches nicknames to “Savvy” and “Femmehound” and sets it up for us to meet up-yet again).
By any means available and accepted, I desperately wanted this madness to stop and go away, (and like you’ll see how it plays out)…time and time again; that’s how the “Submitting to Janet” portion of my coping mechanism would always seem to play out, that is—until I gave up and eventually eliminated that “Submitting to Janet” coping mechanism and made the decision to survive on the other three. At that point (which took years), I decided to play my own game-because theirs wasn’t working out too well for me.
I figured since they were presumptuous enough to feel they were untouchable and untraceable, and considering the torture I had been going through; I figured I would play my own little game with them (sort of like the movie “Untraceable”--you can kind of compare it to that)-where the victims’ death would be contingent upon how many people logged online to see their live torturous murders. The more people logged on, the more the victims would be physically moved closer to whatever method they were being tortured and murdered by.
My game was little simpler and sensible (not to mention): fair.
The only “unfair” part about my game is that I kept it to myself while I:
The noose by which to hang themselves was controlled by them.
In my game, it started it out on a gauge-kind of like a gas gauge: on full.
They had three chances by which to keep the gauge closer to full than empty (Chill, or Cooperate, or allow me to keep peace with Janet by my Submitting to her).
Janet and her team were so sure that they were that untouchable that (unbeknownst to them) they managed to run out of gas-driving me to utilize the one option that caused them to hang themselves: Fight.
They didn’t keep the gauge on full for too long a time-so eventually that sent me to overdrive on them…
I had run out of fantasies of seeing them get caught and all hauled off to jail in patty wagons. And with them having put their petals to the metal and running over my Chill, Cooperate, and Submitting coping mechanisms; all I was left with was to fight: argue, and humiliate Janet via email and in the room (every time she earned and deserved it).
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