TIP #1_________________________________________________
~MASTURBATION (our spiritual “center”)~

"The subject of masturbation has come a long way, with regard to the “taboo” factor concerning it. Yet, it still has a long way to go. The only “long way” from whence we’ve come (concerning masturbation) is the fact that we all know, now, that we can’t go blind from it.All else, (in the backs of our minds) many of us secretly hold the same taboos since the beginning of time.

People are still embarrassed about it-embarrassed to talk “openly” about it.

It is astonishing-how many men still equate masturbating with a sort of admission that they aren’t “getting any.”

Equally as astonishing, is how many single women will quickly admit: “I don’t masturbate. I have to have the real thing.”

When a woman says that, the notion is merely because she hasn’t taken the time out to explore pleasuring herself for any length of time, or that she has not uncovered (or been taught) what her options are, with regard to masturbation. She has everything from devices to stimulate the clitoris to anatomically correct devices that resemble a natural penis.

Men do not have as many options when it comes to sexual self-gratification. A penile suction toy, a makeshift doll with a canal, and a lubricated hand wrapped around his penis is a stark-raving difference from a real vaginal (or anal) canal-neither can be anatomically duplicated, as can a penis.

Before you can understand masturbation and how it [can] work for you, you have to understand that men are women turned inside-out. Meaning: a penis is to a clitoris what his testicle are to our ovaries.
Yet, (while giving him head) we can stimulate his testicles (because they are on the outside of his body).
Pretty much the only “stimulating” our ovaries get is a monthly period and from conceiving (a child).
But during masturbation, a man doesn’t play with his testicles, usually, that does nothing for him-however, he does stroke his penis (clitoris).

During masturbation, with our fingers (or suction/vibrating toys) we play with our clitoris’ (those of us who like external stimulation). Others of us may take it a little further and stimulate ourselves internally-with penis-like toys, or actual dildos and such.

MASTURBATION IS THE TOTAL USE OF THE MENTAL IMAGINATION TO CONTROL YOUR PHYSICAL SELF
Masturbation is mostly mental.
Man or woman, another tool that is essential for masturbation to be of interest to you is your imagination. You have to have a very vivid sexual imagination, and be totally in control of and secure with the fact that no other human being can get into your head and see your actual thoughts but you. All things that you may be too afraid to ask of your partner, you should at least be able to play them out in your mind, to masturbate-alone. Remember the 3-P’s: positions, places and participants, no matter the number, no matter the reality. It’s your mind and your moment.

On another note, where masturbation is concerned, like sex and most all things: it begins in the mind.

With that being said, when dealing with anything that feeds a hunger (be it sex or food especially), you have to be “on top’” of your mind. When it comes to sex-we are made for it just as much as we are made to eat (to live). It only gets dangerous when we live to eat. So think of your sexual imagination like that. Keep it healthy-no matter how bizarre. As long as your sexual imagination isn’t of certain desires that are harmful to other people, go as far as you wish (and take them with you). It doesn’t mean that you are a whore if what gets you off quicker is your masturbating to the thought of ten men pleasuring you all at once and from limb-to-limb, anymore than it makes a man stud-muffin if it gets him off quicker to carrying out the fantasy of pleasuring ten hot women in line-for hours on end.
Use your imagination-just don’t let your imagination use you. Do so by considering this rule: if it happens in the mind [it can] happen in time (and that’s with anything).

THE “POWER” BEHIND MASTURBATING
If a woman masturbates, she already knows how to pleasure herself. Masturbation can be a (secret) kind of sexual liberation for a woman in that, if she knows what her body likes and responds to, she will be less inhibited about communicating to her lover what it is she likes-rather than waiting for it to be discovered, at all (if ever)…

By the same token, masturbation can be a secret kind of “power,” as well. “Power” meaning, the average (single) woman who masturbates is (usually) less impulsive in her choices and frequency of partners. Masturbation, (especially as we mature), is a kind of spiritual center “controller.” When you are in control of your spiritual center (especially as a woman), you are more in control of how it is given, what you will accept atit, and who you invite to it.

When you masturbate, when courting/dating; you can do so with a clear head, heart and emotions.

Your “spiritual center” won’t be pulsating and thinking for you-getting in the way of what’s really going on (and what’s not). You will understand the difference between loneliness, lust, love or infatuation. Through masturbation, you can save yourself from a whole lot of heartache by paying attention to and knowing how to pleasure your own body. As women, when we are not masturbators, we sometimes find ourselves jumping from partner to partner, impulsion to impulsion, and when that happens, you can’t really be so sure that your are being lead by your heart, or the heart in your vagina. Sometimes that “need for companionship” that we think we are in need of (even if for an hour) is our vagina talking to us. When that happens, we end up in relationships that our vagina introduced us to, before our hearts our heads stood a chance. And those kinds of relationships grow sour-quickly, or take long roads: hard and harshly.

When you are in touch with your “spiritual center,” and are control of it, (when dating) you allow your head to connect with your potential mate’s head, your heart to connect to their heart. You are sitting on, tucked away and hidden, what you are in control of.

As a woman, we have a more complex “spiritual center,” (our vagina/crouch area).

A man’s “spiritual center” is his penis/crouch area.

Generally speaking, during self-pleasure, a man’s penis is most important in order for him to reach orgasm during the act, despite the fact how sensitive his testicles, perineum, anus and inner thighs are. (We will cover that in the “Toys for Men” tip coming up).

For a woman, our clitoris is important for reaching an orgasm during masturbation however; some women claim they reach orgasm quicker during vaginal stimulation than they do during clitoral stimulation. Do you want to know what the beauty in that is? There are toys specifically designed for us to get that job done (alone) too. Unlike masturbation devices for men, women have a plethora of self-pleasure options. So, when a: single, grown-up woman says: “I don’t masturbate/I need the real thing,” it’s probably because she either has not taken the time out to explore her own body, or she has not been introduced to the right “toys” and how to use them. And that is where I come in.

TOYS FOR WOMEN
For your information, ladies, there is more out there than “The Rabbit,” and that dreaded, played-out, cornball speeding “Bullet” (the one that gets warmer-the longer we leave it turned on). Admit it, we are already afraid to insert that thing; fearing it may break off and get caught inside of our canals. It doesn’t do that good of a job for our clitoris’ either-mind you. The speed of that little annoying thing nearly feels like the wings of a helicopter fighting your clitoris. It’s ridiculous for a little device whose bps (beats per second) that couldn’t beat the bps of a cell phones, cause that kind of annoyance huh?

There are two kinds of female masturbators:
-women who are into clitoral stimulation
-women who are into vaginal stimulation

Here are some sure-fire ways that will put sparks hotter than the 4th of July for both types:

Women who are into clitoral stimulation have device options amok in selecting the perfect vibration toys to stimulate her clitoris. The bigger test of whether or not the device is perfect for your own pleasure is simply to buy it, bring it home, and use it. You can’t judge it by how it looks on the box (or what the box says). There are cases where you might buy a device and the bps might not be enough for you-usually those little “cute” and colorful toys are responsible for that kind of let down. With those kinds of devices, you can almost be near a “Scarface” stance; mashing upwards on your poor overworked clitoris while instead of moaning with pleasure: “Say Hello to My Little Friend!”

If you are looking for the very best ones for your (literal) “bang” with adjustable bps’ that are sure to rock your world (and with warm infrared light-I might add); the plug-in-wall kind would be your best bet. Typically, they are massagers (for back and body) but considering that thick, heavy bps and the numerous attachments that come with it, I would image that even during a massage, a woman who wasn’t even into masturbation would consider laying a device as such right smack dead in her crouch-you almost can’t help but do it.

As far as using the infrared light, I haven’t researched what (if any) harm it could do to you while masturbating with the function turned on, but I would recommend using the infrared light only to heat it up so that you can feel enough warmth on your clitoris while you masturbate. The feeling is like a nice warm mouth right on your clitoris.

I know that women that your girlfriends may laugh at you for considering a plug-in-the-wall device, but no matter how “cute” you get with your (other battery-operated) devices-you will find yourself returning back to the plug-in-the-wall ones, I assure you.

HOW TO USE MASTURBATING DEVICES
To use these devices, typically, you would lie on your back and open your legs like a frog (or you may leave them closed). You would then place the device on your clitoris, turn the “on” button on and fly to the moon. There’s no long drawn-out method. The clitoris is very receptive and submissive. You will figure out how to control it and what works best for you as you feel it.

Some women are into stimulating their clitoris’ lying on their stomachs; rolling over onto their thumbs, using balled-up comforters, blankets, pillows, sides of couches or mattresses. Masturbation is masturbation -what masturbation does: as long as you get to your point of climax-how you get there, is not a major factor. However, if you want to step it up to the next level of pleasure for you, I would suggest that you try a vibrating device and then roll over onto your stomach to masturbate. In doing so, it may lead you to being comfortable enough to lie on your back to masturbate. The difference between lying on your back to masturbate and turning on your stomach to masturbate is mental.
I’ll share this much with you.

As a side note (and…"

(END “MASTURBATION” CHAPTER EXCERPT SAMPLE)